As I sit here at my desk, unmotivated to work on anything I know I should be getting done, periodically and longingly gazing outside. I am filled with anxiety about my summer being booked solid and the impending doom of winter (i know its ridiculous, but you’d know what I mean if you lived here or anywhere north of here); thinking "what am I doing with myself", thinking "I'm wasting my short time on earth", so yeah... generally being my grumpy old existentially perturbed self. But what got me set off on this line of thought was not mere ennui but an email I dug out of my inbox from almost a year ago. It got me thinking about all the people I know at this point that I enjoy some form of contact with; via email, phone, in person or follow their exploits in blogs, that are doing really awesome things with their lives. Things I wish I were doing. Not that I don't do awesome things, my life is strangely eventful and some might even say "blessed", but I've chosen the way of the home owning nine-to-fiver and my younger me is not terribly impressed at the moment. Every day I'm not out riding, camping, motorcycling, climbing, adventuring, traveling and generally filling myself with natural beauty and wonderment at the world, I feel I'm failing in some way.
This letter was from one of these amazing people I speak of. A gentleman I met a couple years ago at a bikepacking and campout extravaganza in Colorado with our good friends at Salvagetti Bicycle Workshop. His name was Seth and he had chosen a different path than most of us. He eschewed the fixation and drive for physical wealth and addiction to creature comforts. He ended up where he is through his own decision making process and has let the wind take him where it will. He enjoys art and philosophy, connecting with people, and conversely, the solitude and peace of the open road and back country. Some might say a "free spirit". I would just say he's a rad dude.
I was taken by this man’s story and frankness of heart and so was Tyler (who was on this trip with me). We decided on the spot that we wished to see him on one of our bikes (he was on an antiquated monstrosity of some sort or another, and making due without complaint I might add, but there is a difference between simply getting where you need to go vs. loving every moment of your journey and your conveyance to boot). So we simply posed the proposition to him: "Hey brother, you want a new bike?" He was taken aback but his eyes lit up. He knew that it would mean expanding his trail horizons, less fuss with mechanical issues and a more simple enjoyment of the journey itself. Anyway, I digress, this story wasn't about our gift to him, it's about his gift to us; the reminder to take stock of what’s important in your life and to drop everything that doesn't matter and focus on what does. What REALLY matters. Because our lives here are but a blink of an eye and we won’t remember those TV shows, meetings, commutes, trips to the mall or lonely nights at the bar.
This is his letter in his own style "ov" shorthand:
hi Trevor and Tyler!
i'm in denver and beautifully will be enjoying the SURLY Salvegetti camping thing! i supre hope yu two will be thir. big smiles, hugs, stories, cheers.....all i hope to share. it feels like 10yrs since last year. this is a great thing in the face of the tumor race we all face!
i supre hope a bottle ov rum made it to yu guys! it seems shipping alcohol successfully is not always guaranteed but in this case i hope it did. my last letter had me off to the east coast to do some pedaling and frend seaing....
i landed in boston with around 300$ and a lady frend. i had to get to Burlington Vermont to thank an old frend face to face and meet her family. as my brain had used her in a dream to help pull my hed out ov my ass and point it at my heart. the goal with the lady frend was to hav a communicativ, health oriented, open, expressiv relationship. she agreed with these ideas but was overwhelmed completely. we pedaled together up to Burlington where we decided to part. quite healthy i must say. she launched off to Connecticut to farm for a minute and i had a little over 100$ and was stoked because this wood bee enough to see frends in Beacon NY. so off i went. while in Beacon i stumbled into a shop called Peoples Bicycles where i recognized the logo on their business card as i had seen it on bikegreaseandcoffee.com - it was the shop that the chap Kurt had left from years ago on his various adventures that i had been reading about online. they were great people and rotated my tires and re-tubless set them up for 5$ and a drawing (i had to do some negotiating because......)..... as i pedaled into Beacon i realized the next step was to get back to the west cuz i was not down with the eastern nature (tree covered jungle) and longed for the desert and rockies. at Beacon i had 65$ and a box ov dried fruit and seeds my mom had sent me. that was enough to make me feel comfortable to launch off to get to denver. i wanted to take dirt routes but found no resources for pedaling east-west on dirt in that region. so i struck out on a real direct route on pavement and hit rail trails when i could. i ate alot ov oats mixed with the goods from my mom. then somewhere in Pennsylvania i got an email from someone i chatted with in MOAB. he sed that the Thich Nhat Hanh book he wanted to lend me was gone and that i could buy it on amazon for 4$. i informed him i was carrying 3 books already and felt foolish with that quantity touring and such. he instantly responded that i should write for his blog and he wood pay me 50$ a weak. i was stoked as i could thus buy food (or whatever it was they had in those midwest stores)! so i kept pedaling, taking time at various libraries typing out articles and navigating the 1hr computer use rules. i had frends in Hiawatha Kansas that i wanted to get to and as i was getting close to them, the inspiration to pedal completely fell out and i simply had to grind for a few days. they grabbed me off the highway and i recouped at their house for a week. i had lost a bit ov weight. my knees had changed a bit and seemingly my body was only using nutrients to feed the parts of me that were used in pedaling and in nothing else. like i walked 8 blocks then had to take a nap or tried carrying a piece ov lumber and dragged terribly behind my frend. it all was quite interesting. anyways, i was done pedaling and caught a ride with one ov their parents back to denver. hitting denver i was flooded with the culmination ov the experiences and their meaning. it was a big push to hav deligence with myself and my beliefs. a big self accepting thing, like i should honor myself. witness that which is in me and deligently pursue it......
there has been much change in my life over this past year. i'd love to share all the stories with yu two if i could. quite possibly that won't happen so a way to sum it up is that this homeless man is making more and more choices and decisions based on greater and greater quality ov life. i returned to denver quite focused to grow the positiv relationships in my life and learn more ov my experiencial existance and see how it goes. i pretty fucking into this stuff and stoked! quite soon after the bikecamping event, i want to get down to the warm southern desert areas and float for the winter. i got most everything together and am very excited to sit hike and relax in nature agin. the pedaling across was a ton ov work and weirdness finding places to sleep everynight. i'm much more into setting up camp and hanging for awhile so i can hike a ton, sew, read and do nothing, lots ov rad nothing! nothing and nature are great nutritions! the OGRE has been brilliant! the perfect choice for me! doing a ton more road riding than i'v ever done and was quite cozy. i'm supre stoked to get it down to the deserts and get to some ov the most beautiful places i'v ever been but now i can explore them much more fully on two wheels....
anyways chaps, i'm supre stoked and still beaming from yor guys help, support and frendship. the greatest joy to see yu all agin. i hope yu are both well and growing at a rate satiating to yu!
i'm attaching a photo ov me in OHIO eating.
(i reread this and it seems so brief compared to the experiences. my goal was a helo and a check in before hopefully seeing yu all and i think that was accomplished. thankyu and helo!)
-seth
By the way Seth, I got the rum and it didn't last long. Thank you. If you are reading this, drop me a line... otherwise I hope to run into you on a bike somewhere beautiful. Reading your letter today inspired me to reprioritize and remember that happiness is really just a state of mind.
Be excellent to eachother everone.